Dodging a bullet

So, again I am convinced of Heavenly Father's love for me and taking care of me even when I am not doing my best.  So after trying to make up work for a week straight after being sick, which was after trying to make up work for a month straight after Katie left, I got hardcore burned out.  I didn't want to do any work.  I knew that I only had a little bit left, I knew that I needed to do it, and I knew that the Lord's blessings to me were dependent upon my working and being diligent.  It was hard for me because if I'm going into accounting, it will be easy to rationalize not caring about my math grades.  So I did very little work on Saturday, and as a result, I didn't have the blessings, and I felt pretty bad about what I was doing-- it stopped being fun for me to hang out and play video games non-stop.  

So then yesterday it all snapped back.  I held a four-and-a-half hour review session for my Math 113 kids, and I think I have done everything for them that I can.  Afterwards, I felt exhausted, and I didn't want to work anymore, but this time, I decided to act anyway.  I went to the library, where no video games or friends could distract, and I worked.  And it felt great.  So then I came home, and some amigas of mine asked me if I wanted to go to a hot spring-type thing with them.  I really wanted to go, but I had Bishopric meeting that next morning, so I had to decline.  Well, as it turns out, while they thought it was public property and so not a bad thing to jump the fences, they were mistaken.  My friends are now all facing minor charges against them, and I think I probably would have joined them in what they did had I gone with.  I am very grateful that the Lord urged me through my duties not to have to make that decision.  

Anyways, one more week, and I intend to make the Lord proud of my work.  Love you all, and see you next week!  Really!

Carson Marsh

5 December 2010- A day in the sickbed

It just goes to show you that the Lord can teach you through tons of different mediums.  As all of you know, I was really sick this week.  Had an intestinal infection, and it was not so much fun.  It also took me out of school for a good week, and I'm having to fight to the finish to get everything done and in before finals week.  I'm still not feeling well, and so it's going to require a lot of help from Heavenly Father to get it all done.
However, it could be a lot worse.  I remember thinking that my appendix was bursting and that even if everything with that turned out okay, I'd have to take incompletes on everything.  During that time of panic, I remembered words from a blessing that David had given me the night before when I had a fever and a stomachache:
"You will be blessed to recover from your sickness and to return quickly to your schoolwork"
Now, I'm still not fully recovered; Kisi gave me this food today that kind of took me out- my stomach is not used to her health foods anymore, now that it has been so long since I have eaten Katie's cooking (admittedly, Katie is the superior chef, but there was nothing wrong with it besides the fact that my body wasn't used to it).  However, I have been able to begin my schoolwork anew.  I am still quite behind; it is going to require all of my efforts to catch up just in time for finals.  But I can do it, especially if the Lord is with me.  And I intend to live and do as best I can.
I have tons more to say, but one of the things I'm learning is the importance of taking care of my body when it is down.  Off to bed with me.  Good night.

21 November 2010- The need to repent

Hey team!

So this week I want to base most of what I am going to say on a scripture I just read- 3 Nephi 8:1.  Part of it reads, "and there was not any man who could do a miracle in the name of Jesus save he were cleansed every whit from his iniquity--".  I've been thinking a lot about this idea lately.  I am trying to become more and more a servant of Christ as time progresses, wearing my life out in His service, helping other people to be happy.  But I must recognize that in order to make other people feel good, I must be in a good spiritual place.  I must root out my own problems and become healed by the Atonement.
I have had a couple of experiences with this idea of improving in those small things this week, but I will just share one example.  As of late, I have been getting a lot of flack from roommates over cleanliness issues.  Some have been nagging me for weeks about stuff, and it has seemed like no matter how much progress I make, since I have so far to go in that regard, nothing is good enough.  It's really frustrating, especially when other roommates' cleanliness imperfections is easy for me to see.  I've had a really short fuse lately on it, and the more I get nagged, the less I actually want to do anything about it.  So today I was getting bugged about it, and I went to my room instead of doing anything to clean up.  As I was changing my clothes from my Sunday attire, it hit me that even though my roommates may not be going about what they say the right way, I can learn from the ideas they are putting forth, and I shouldn't deny myself the blessings of being clean just because I feel that they aren't asking me to do it in a good way.
So that was a very liberating feeling, and I was able to clean up and feel better about things because of it.

I am still working on trying to have a definite direction for my career choice, and also for what I'm going to do as far as Katie is concerned.  I hate closing doors, but it seems that I'm going to have to make a decision one way or the other, at least as far as my schooling is concerned, within the next couple of months.  I need to devote a bit of time every once in a while to just considering my possibilities so that I can learn for myself what the will of the Lord is concerning me.
That being said, I have so many reasons to be grateful as of late.  The Lord has blessed me with so many promises, and I know that they will come to pass, for every other blessing that I have received so far has happened, that it almost seems silly to worry, so long as I am giving every blessing the proper attention so that the Lord can work through me to fulfill it.  I have also received the comfort and knowledge that for right now, I am in the right place- exactly where I need to be.  And I believe that as I do my best and take steps into the dark, He will light my path, and even if I have to take steps in opposite directions, that light will never let me go too far astray.

Saw the Harry Potter movie with Sarah last night.  I love the intrinsic battle between all that is good and all that is evil there present.  J.K.Rowling has this talent of making her characters very real, so that one can relate to them all.  It makes me want to punish everything that is evil in this world.  But that isn't exactly the Lord's way.  He intends us to win this war by love, even of those beings that practice evil.

Well, I'd better get going.  Be grateful, everyone!  See the miracles around you!

Love,
Carson

14/11/2010- The first one

Hey minha família!

So when I was on my mission, I remember what a positive response I got from the weekly emails I was sending home.  I felt almost as if you all were there with me, and I really appreciated your support, comments, and following of my life.
I am starting this blog because I want to stay connected to you all, even if we don't get the chance to talk as often as we would like.  So I guess I'll just give you a quick overview as to what's going on in my life, and you don't have to respond or anything- I just want you to feel connected to me and the important things that are going on with me, and most importantly, the influence that Heavenly Father is having in my life.

So, first off, as I'm sure you all well know (as if I didn't talk about it enough... :) ) Katie left on her mission about two and a half weeks ago (and I'm sure a veteran counter such as Dad could tell me exactly how long it is until she gets home... just subtract six months from my time a year and a half ago!)  Since then, I have been trying to turn myself to Christ in every way possible.  As has been told me, and as I have hated to admit, I have quite a bit of growing up to do before I'm actually ready to get married.  Much of that includes good habits and skills- being a member of the work force, managing finances, being clean and managing my schoolwork.  However, an even more vital part of my preparation includes preparing myself spiritually.  There is so much that can go wrong in a marriage that only Christ can save two natural people from falling apart at the first disagreement.
And Heavenly Father has already helped me so much!  He is helping me to heal a lot of stuff that was created by my relationship, which is vital whether Katie and I stick together or not.  He's also helping me to heal a lot of baggage I hardly knew existed!  The downside is that my productivity level tends to drop when I am dealing with said baggage.  Yet, as seems to often happen, when I'm doing what He wants me to do, He's got me covered.  I took a Differential Equations test a while ago and received a 62%- worst grade I've ever received in the Testing Center.  Well, two weeks later, it seemed like everyone had done poorly, but I was still discouraged- I wanted to understand the material!  And after some miskeying was cleared up and the written part was added in, I found that I had a 90%!  (pre-curve, of which there will certainly be one)  I also scored a 93% on my most recent Portuguese test, which I didn't deserve, and a 92% in Joseph Smith History, and a 95% in Complex Analysis.

That just leaves the beast which is Abstract Algebra.  I have a B at best in that class, and a midterm on Tuesday.  I will really be needing Heavenly Father's help to get through this, so keep me in your prayers!  I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for me and that He is working with me so that I can help Him in His work to serve others.

Have a great week, everyone!

Carson